“I invite you to learn about dog body language”
This was a brilliant response one of my mentors Emily Strong said when she was confronted by a less then kind person. This person was in her client’s home in the capacity of a house sitter. Emily was there working with one of the clients dogs on part of their training plan that Emily and her clients were both on board with, and having great success with. When the clients were out of town, the house sitter was made aware of the training plan and goals and took it upon herself to disregard her clients (house owners) and the dog professional (Emily) and insisted that the dog should follow her commands because she said so. She insisted they should be silent, not jump or bark, and from what it sounds like, basically not exist. Emily was stunned by this woman’s assertions and demeanor and was caught in a (rare!) moment of not being able to find all the words and make a cohesive thoughts while also fighting her internal rage at this woman’s demands. But what I absolutely love about this shocking event, was that Emily was able to udder these words as she was able to leave with the dog. So remember, if you are ever stuck or feeling shocked by what people out in the world might say to you or about dogs in your life, simply “invite them to learn about dog body language”.
Getting people on board
Now, let’s hope you don’t have such rude and obtuse people in your life. If you are finding yourself struggling to get friends or family or partners on board about learning about your dog, the family dog, the dogs in their life, here are some scripts that might help pique their interest and get them curious. Share those dog body language handouts, print out posters or send links to videos, books, pdfs, whatever. They are plentiful, many available for free, and desperately need to be widely distributed.
Scripts for people
What Actually Works
People get curious when:
- it connects to them
- it’s short
- it feels like a cool observation, not a lesson
- it explains something they already noticed
People disengage when:
- they feel corrected
- they feel judged
- they feel overwhelmed
- it sounds like a lecture
So we aim for tiny, interesting observations, not education sessions.
Curiosity-Sparking Scripts
“Did you notice…?”
“Did you notice how he just turned his head away?”
That’s it.
Pause. Let them respond.
What to Point Out First (If They’re Interested)
If someone leans in, stick to 3 easy signals:
- Head turns / looking away
- Freezing
- Loose vs stiff body
Avoid:
- full stress signal lists
- terminology dumps
- correcting every interaction
You want them to think:
“Oh wow, I can actually see that.”
The Gentle Interruption Script
When you need to step in:
“Let’s give him a little break – he’s starting to tell us he’s done.”
This:
- protects the dog
- teaches without teaching
- doesn’t blame the person
If Someone Is Clearly Not Interested
If they disengage:
- stop explaining
- manage the environment
- protect the dog quietly
You don’t need buy-in to advocate.
The Big Picture Reframe (This Frees You)
You are not:
- responsible for educating everyone
- obligated to convince anyone
- failing if people aren’t interested
You are:
- modeling respectful handling
- normalizing consent with dogs
- planting seeds that grow later
Many people don’t get curious until something goes wrong – and then they remember the calm person who once said something small and kind. So yes, I’ll try to remember to invite people to learn about dog body language.
